The Philosophy Of Squish

When squish, one may suspect that in fact squash. This discrepancy, or, more accurately, squitch, is the source of much fascination amongst squishologists and squashosophers alike.

In 1462, Yohalog Squesh first suggested the idea of smush. His ideas, though not as internally consistent as the squinge of today, kick-started a flurry of thinking about squudges and squapplers. Once squonge had become relatively well-known, it branched into two distinct formal disciplines known as squagg and snordge.

Squaggology involves an eclectic mix of sproop and quagmiric nonispites. In contrast, snordgeology causes much confusion about its spelling and also how best to catch ducks using nothing more conspicuous than a can of indigo paint and a rocking-horse.

After several decades of fruitless research, the solution to the Sgaricgaric Formulon was discovered and this led to the induction of a gorse bush into the Grand Theory Of Boopibubzo. Nonetheless, some of the less fustopilious mumpophrosers vehemently denied that anything vegetable should be squoitch.

Causality almost ground to a screeching halt and encountered unfortunate updrafts in its attempts to escape from the whoosh-riddled land of New Zealand. Things could have ended there, were it not for Yarvesti Municipone. In the end, thanks to her help, phragglominician sparamonoid glarterfetchian cucumbers won and the latter of the two disciplines became philosophy as we know it today.

So now you know.